Seven dwarfs. One billionaire. One very bad idea.
Elon Musk has kidnapped Snow White. He intends to dissect her and work out why everybody loves her and everybody hates her at the same time — and then build a perfect robot clone of her, get it crowned queen of the world, and use the job to rubber-stamp every scheme he has ever had.
The dwarfs have put down the pickaxes, put on the leather, and gone to work.
A satirical browser beat-em-up. Street Fighter's combat depth in a Final Fight chassis, with a great deal of screen shake.
▶ Play it
- 70 maps, a boss every fifth one — a developer, a Shiba Inu, an autonomous car, Donald Trump, and ten more, ending with the man himself.
- 7 playable dwarfs, each with their own moveset, weapon and ultimate. Pick one and watch him swap the tunic for a spiked leather jacket and sunglasses. The hat stays on.
- Enemies worth punching: suited guards with earpieces, taser goons, riot shields, security robots, autonomous vacuums, IoT fridges that fight back, delivery drones, unpaid interns, and lobbyists.
- Weapons get dropped and picked up — chains, bats, iron bars, riot shields, a Cybertruck door. One key takes what is at your feet, and pressing it over something better trades the two, so being armed never means being stuck with what you are holding.
- Eleven of the seventy maps park something with an engine in your way — a bike, a Cybertruck, a hyperloop pod, a rocket. Same key to get on, same key to get off. Riding is roughly twice a run, and running a guard over does more than punching him would.
- An opening cinematic that shows you the kidnapping rather than explaining it: the cottage, the headlights, the door coming off its hinges, the lab, and seven dwarfs putting on the leather. Skippable, and it only plays once.
- Local multiplayer on one keyboard or with gamepads, up to four players.
- Online multiplayer by sending a link. Your friend clicks it, picks a dwarf, and is in the fight. That is the entire flow — from the home screen or from the pause menu mid-game.
| Action | Player 1 | Player 2 | Gamepad |
|---|---|---|---|
| Move | WASD — ZQSD on AZERTY |
Arrows | Left stick / d-pad |
| Light attack | F |
Numpad 1 |
A / ✕ |
| Heavy attack | G |
Numpad 2 |
B / ○ |
| Jump | Space |
Numpad 0 |
X / □ |
| Special | H |
Numpad 3 |
Y / △ |
| Block | Shift |
Numpad . |
RB / R1 |
| Grab | R |
Numpad 5 |
LB / L1 |
| Pick up / Use | E |
Numpad 4 |
LT / L2 / ZL |
| Super | T |
Numpad + |
RT / R2 / ZR |
| Pause | Esc |
Esc |
Start |
Double-tap a direction to dash. Block just as a hit lands to parry.
Pick up / Use is one key for everything at your feet: take the weapon lying there, trade the one in your hands for it, get on the bike, get off the bike, or — with nothing in reach — put down what you are carrying. When there is something to press it on, the key and what it would do float above your dwarf's head, named the way your own keyboard or your own pad names it.
Those are key positions, not letters. Every binding is stored by where the
key physically sits on the board, so the movement diamond is the same four keys
under the same four fingers whatever your keyboard is: ZQSD on a French
AZERTY, WASD on a US QWERTY, WASD with Y and Z swapped elsewhere on a German
QWERTZ. Nobody has to configure anything and nothing has to be detected for the
game to play correctly.
Labels are a different matter, and the game does not guess at those if it can help it: it asks the browser what is actually engraved on your keys and prints that. On browsers that refuse to say (Firefox, Safari) it infers a layout from your language and admits in the menu that it is assuming.
And if any of it is wrong, or you simply want Jump somewhere else: every key is rebindable in Controls, from the title screen or from the pause menu mid-fight. Rebinds apply immediately — walk out of the pause menu and the new key is already the key.
npm install
npm run dev # http://localhost:5173
npm run build # outputs to docs/ for GitHub PagesThis repository contains no image files and no audio files. Every character, prop, backdrop and effect is vector geometry drawn from a skeletal rig at runtime, and every sound — punches, gunshots, the music — is synthesised with WebAudio. That is a deliberate constraint, and it is why the art has a consistent house style and the whole game downloads in a couple of hundred kilobytes.
The simulation is deterministic at a fixed 60Hz, which is what makes lockstep netcode possible without a game server. See ARCHITECTURE.md for how it all fits together.
WebRTC data channels, brokered by the public PeerJS cloud server. There is no
game server — peers talk directly to each other and the broker is only used for
the initial handshake. If you would rather run your own, point NetConfig.host
at a self-hosted PeerServer.
You almost certainly need a TURN relay. Peer-to-peer only works when at least one side's network will accept an inbound packet at a predictable address. On a LAN that is always true. Across the internet it is a coin flip, and on mobile or carrier-grade-NAT connections it essentially never works — ICE fails with "add a TURN server" and the two players never meet. STUN cannot fix this; it only reports your own public address. A TURN server relays the traffic when a direct route does not exist.
The game fetches short-lived relay credentials at runtime from /ice, so
nothing secret is baked into the bundle — the credential a player can read out
of devtools expires in a couple of hours. Point VITE_ICE_ENDPOINT at your own
issuer, or set a static VITE_TURN_* in .env (see .env.example) if you
would rather configure one directly.
A room keeps the grant its Peer was created with. If a lobby is deliberately left open longer than the issuer's credential TTL (two hours on the default endpoint), recreate the room before accepting new players.
Before a match starts, the host measures the actual gameplay lane and negotiates an input buffer large enough for its RTT and jitter. Input packets travel on a separate unordered data channel while lobby and scene state stays ordered. The lobby shows whether that lane selected direct P2P or TURN and, for a relay, UDP or TCP. Match epochs reject late packets from a previous fight, and the opening frames stay ordered behind the start handshake. TURN/UDP is strongly preferred for play; TURN/TCP is a reachability fallback and needs a larger buffer. Very distant routes can therefore remain smooth but will still feel delayed; hiding that physical latency requires rollback/prediction.
If no relay can be reached, the game falls back to STUN and still works on a LAN and between permissive networks, and says so plainly instead of hanging.
This game is rude on purpose. It is political satire of public figures, in the tradition of every editorial cartoon ever drawn, and it is not subtle about it.
MIT.