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I wrote this post a couple of months back in order to explain my challenges with learning, my inability to find a new job and my state of mind.
A lot has improved since then. I still don't have a job but I am more hopeful about the future. I also question my reduction of understanding of computing to just finding and being good at a job.
I question the reduction of the computer science to building a product for someone. Of course, the arts are a means of improving the human experience but the daily grind process should never be a substitute for the pleasure of obtaining human knowledge.
That is why I left medical school after all: to positively and throughly enjoy what I do.